The Werewolf of Mibu
by Pechan
Summary: I think the title says it all. Nothing special here, just a weird thought that came into my head. (don't read this if you're expecting anything serious or entertaining) THE RANDOMNESS IS COMPLETE! OOC stuff.
1. Default Chapter

**HERE'S THE DISCLAIMER TO THE FACT THAT PECHAN WILL NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS OWN THE RUROUNI KENSHIN FRANCHISE. And if you're into serious fics, stop reading here. This is just a rambling in her crazy head. She just needs to get it out.  
  
(On a dark night, when the moon's full bright, and the manslayers still roamed the streets of Kyoto...........)  
  
Saito: (sigh) You know what, Okita? I am so friggin' kick @$$. Seriously. I mean, come on!! I am so damn cool, it's a friggin' wonder how I can barely stay a virgin myself!!  
  
Okita: ........................................ that cigarette of yours wouldn't happen to be that foreign tobacco called marijuana, right sir?  
  
Saito: Best tasting cig I ever had in my life. (spots a suspicious feller) YOU THERE!!! AKU SOKU ZAN!!  
  
Feller: Oh cr@p!! (runs for it)  
  
Saito: (springs into action, and stabs the evil doer in half) GATOTSU!!  
  
Okita: Is it possible to stab someone in half, sir?  
  
Saito: (wipes blade) It is now. Now, what was this man charged under?  
  
Okita: Uhhh....... littering.  
  
Saito: Ah............ well................. this is a good day's work. I made a difference, did you?  
  
Okita: This is the last time we let you have that marijuana, sir.  
  
(suddenly, the dead man jumps up, and bites Saito's arm)  
  
Saito: What the..? OW!! (whacks the body a few times) THAT HURTS, YOU F@G!! (stabs him several times, shouting "Gatotsu!!" each time)  
  
(the man is finally dead)  
  
Okita: Ewwww, he bit you!! Now you have cooties!!!  
  
Saito: Only a mary like you would say................ well, I can't say it. I'm not a mary. (looks at the bleeding bite mark) Odd. I feel tingly.  
  
Okita: Maybe we should have that checked, sir.  
  
Saito: Nah, I'll be fine. In fact, I don't feel a thing!! Got another one of those, what-a-ya-call-ems? Joints.  
  
Okita: I decided to throw them all away. They're affecting your judgment rather poorly.  
  
Saito: Bullsh!t!! Why I can see everything.... with my eye of the heart!  
  
(Just then, Himura Battousai struts in)  
  
Saito: (tips cap) Evening ma'am.  
  
Okita: Uh, sir? That's the battousai.  
  
Saito: Pfft, like anyone can tell. He looks pretty enough to rape-  
  
Kenshin: Hey, I CAN hear you, that I can!!  
  
Saito: (takes the Hirazuki stance) Like anyone cares what you think. Have at thee!!  
  
(they fight all cool and stuff. Suddenly.....)  
  
Kenshin: My, you have certainly long hair Saito, that you do!!  
  
Saito: Oh, thanks. I brush it like, a million times a day-  
  
Kenshin: (sweats) No, I mean, you're very hairy, that you are.  
  
Saito: ............................. (looks down at his hands, finds himself covered in sleek black fur) .................................... okay, it's official. I'm quitting smoking joints.  
  
Okita: Eeek, sir!! You have a tail!!  
  
Satio: (rolls eyes) Well, most guys do Okita! It's what makes a guy a man!! Course, between two pretty boys like you and the battousai, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm the only one with a tail in this fight right now-  
  
Okita: (points) No sir, you have a doggy tail!!  
  
Saito: (looks behind him, to see a wagging tail) ...................................................... hnh. That is something. GRK!! (hunches over, grows a large back and claws. His face elongates to that of a wolf, and he howled at the moon)  
  
Kenshin: (sweats) Ahh, maybe we should postpone this fight, that we should?  
  
Saito: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-  
  
Okita: Oh, I get it!! That man was a werewolf!! And now Mr. Saito is a werewolf!!  
  
Saito: Wow, you're a quick one. I'm glad I have you for a partner.  
  
Okita: (sniff sniff) You didn't have to say it all mean like, sir...........  
  
Saito: (howls) Finally!! With strength such as this, I will tear the Battousai to........... the hell did he run off to now?  
  
Okita: I think you scared him off sir.  
  
Saito: (shrugs) Oh well. He was an idiot anyways.  
  
Okita: ................. forgive me if I'm wrong sir, but, aren't werewolves supposed to be crazy, maniacal beasts that kill anything they see?  
  
Saito: ................... Oh yeah! I forgot about that part. Well, here goes!! (barks, grrs, howls, yaps, woofs, and any other dog sound known to man, as he rampages the streets)  
  
Okita: (sweats) I think Pechan was smoking a joint herself the day she wrote this.  
  
Pechan: Naw, I'm just bored. Besides!! The Wolf of Mibu? Why not make it the WEREwolf of Mibu? That is so friggin' awesome!!  
  
Okita: But now the suave debonair Saito is replaced with a ravaging beast!!  
  
Pechan: ............ either way, he's still sexy!!  
  
Okita: Well, can't argue with you there!! Say, you think since he called me a pretty boy, he might consider dating me?  
  
Pechan: First of, my Saito isn't gay. Second of all, your voice sounds like you haven't hit puberty yet, and lastly, HE'S MINE!! (bops his head, knocking the boy unconscious) Mwa ha ha ha haaaaa....  
  
**Yep, it was one of those days. I really wouldn't know what to do with this fic, I was just watching some lame @$$ scary movie, and there was a werewolf in it. And ya know, wolves made me think of Saito automatically, so yeah. Sorry for wasting your time, since this fic isn't going anywhere, heh.  
  
~~~~~~And so sorry to any hardcore Saito fans out there!! Once in a while, I gotta poke fun at him too. Just to be fair...................................... but maybe I gotta screw the fair stuff. (takes out pom poms, cheers) SEXY SAITO, ALL THE WAY!! HE BEATS KENSHIN ANY DAY!! KAMATARI'S FREAK-IN GAY!! GIMME A 'S'!! AND A EYE!! AND A TOE!! WHATS IT SPELL?!! (throws away poms poms) Hell if I know, I'm flunking Language Arts.  
  
*okay, I'm gonna physically stop myself from typing anymore. I'm probably gonna delete this later, too. 


	2. Rokurokubi

**Since so many people liked her last chapter (A WHOPPING SIX PEOPLE!!) Pechan decided to waste more time here. This way, she can't possibly own Rurouni Kenshin. Cause Rurouni Kenshin isn't this bad/stupid. Plus, she's very bored.  
  
~ Rokurokubi ~  
  
Last time, Saito became a werewolf. (ooh, ahh!!) Now he meets a fellow creature of the Japanese night.......... a dreaded ROKUROKUBI!! (rokurokubi women with long necks....................... yes, that's all they do. They have long necks)  
  
Saito: (humming 'Bark at the Moon')  
  
Okita: Sir? Now with the Revolution over, what must you do?  
  
Saito: Well, I figured I'd go after that Himura chick. Didn't really get her number, and it never hurts to bang another pretty face.  
  
Okita: It's a guy, sir. For the one hundred and eighty seventh and hopefully last time, Himura Battousai is a male.  
  
Saito: No one has proven that yet, have they smart@$$? So until then, it's just smooth sailin' and erotic dreams for me of that sword chick.  
  
Okita: .......................................... it's a full moon, sir.  
  
Saito: Ah, cr@p. Well, here I go again!! (transforms into a werewolf) Damn, this fur's itchy.  
  
Mysterious Woman: Halt!!  
  
Saito: Geez, can't a guy walk into town without being flocked by women?  
  
Okita: I can, sir.  
  
Saito: And that's why you're still a loser. (looks at woman) Hello there!! Need any assistance?  
  
Mysterious Woman: Shut it, you!! You constantly belittle my boy friend!! Now, you must perish!!  
  
Saito: Uh, and you're boy toy would be?  
  
Mysterious Woman: (stands straight, all proud and stuff) Why, Kenshin Himura is his name!!  
  
Saito: .......................  
  
Okita: Told you he was a guy-  
  
Saito: Ah, shut up. Who the hell is this ugly girl, anyways?  
  
Mysterious: I am Kaoru Kamiya, now prepare to meet your maker!! (starts transforming and stuff)  
  
Saito: ..................... ................................. .................. so, Okita! You hungry? I can like, go kill a wild boar for us so easy with these super wolf senses.  
  
Okita: As you wish, sir. But pick one of the less fatty ones!! I think I'm getting fat from eating all the wild boar you kill-  
  
Kaoru: HEY, I'M TRANSFORMING INTO SOMEWTHING REALLY CRAZY HERE!! (suddenly, her neck pops up all long) There!!  
  
Saito: ...........................  
  
Okita: ............................  
  
Saito: ......are you sure you're not just a lesbian? I'm pretty sure Himura was a girL-  
  
Kaoru: I'D KNOW IF I WAS A LESBIAN, YOU FOP!! (starts turning her head all crazy like, and wobbling her long neck) BOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (emits crazy hisses and noises)  
  
Saito: (scratches ear all dog like) Alright, this is getting boring. What the hell are you, some kinda cat or something?  
  
Kaoru: I'm a rokurokubi, you A hole!! The most feared Japanese monster there is besides oni, kappa , yurei, and bakemono!!  
  
Saito: In other words, you'd be scary if there was absolutely nothing else on this earth scarier than you. Like bunnies.  
  
Okita: Bunnies scare me, sir!!  
  
Saito: Fine, mice. Do they scare you?  
  
Okita: Mice give me the willies, sir. What about spiders?  
  
Saito: GAH!! Don't even mention them, I get all shuddery!! Damn, when I see those, I scream so loud-  
  
Kaoru: STOP SAYING WHAT'S SCARIER THAN ME AND START BEING SCARED OF ME!! RARRRRR!!  
  
Saitro: Seriously, is that all you can do? Make you're neck go long?  
  
Kaoru: ............ well, I also cook!! (holds up a pot of what looks like steamy vomit) I made seafood chowder!! Want some?  
  
Okita: (clamping hands over his mouth to keep from throwing up)  
  
Saito: OH GOD, IT'S HORRIBLE!! (runs off, yipping)  
  
Okita: (runs after him) WAIT FOR ME, SIR!! SHE'S COMING RIGHT FOR ME!!  
  
Kaoru: (dancing) KYA HA HAAAAAAAA!! YES, FEAR ME!! FEEEAAAAARRR MEEEEEEEE- uh oh- (her neck grew too long, and she tipped over form the sheer weight and equilibrium of it) OWW!!  
  
~~thirty or so minutes later~~  
  
Okita: Sir!! ........(pant pant) .....I think we......(gasp gasp) ......we..... (breath breath) .....lost her.....(wheeze)........sir....  
  
Saito: Oh, I know. I just saw a cat, and I just had to chase it. (growls) Damn cats, all walkin' around like they own the place-  
  
Mysterious Voice: HALT!!  
  
Saito: Dude, seriously, as soon as the ladies hear I'm in town, they just can't keep their hands off me-GAH!! (spots the voice was coming form Sano) You're a guy!!  
  
Sano: (cracks knuckles) You bet I am!!  
  
Saito:..................... sorry pal, I don't swing that way. Okita here does.  
  
Okita: I am not gay!! I just like accessorizing!! (holds up purse)  
  
Saito: Yeah, and I'm size four.  
  
Sano: Can it, Narrow Eyes!! I got something in store for you!! (starts to transform)  
  
Saito: Oh great here it comes....  
  
Sano: (in a flurry of bright light and brown bursts of feathers, he transforms into.....)  
  
Saito: ................................. a rooster. Wow, great climax there, Pechan.  
  
Pechan: Gah, he SAID MY NAME!! (has a heart attack from pure shock)  
  
Okita: (takes stick, pokes Sano) I think this one's good for cooking, sir.  
  
Sano: Get away from me!! I'm here to fight the Werewolf of Mibu!! (thunderclap)  
  
Okita: (looks up) Why'd it get all cloudy all of a sudden?  
  
Saito: Well, if it makes you happy, I accept.  
  
Sano: Hell yeah!! After my vigorous training under the Sekihoutai, I can finally-  
  
(Saito clamps big werewolf jaws over little rooster head)  
  
Okita: ...................... Well, that went fast.  
  
Saito: (eyes widen, jumps back) OW!! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!  
  
Sano: Ha ha!! It's called my 'Pecking the Cr@p Outta Your Tongue' attack!! Almost as impressive as- (lunges at Satio, fist outstretched ) FUTAENOKIWAMI!!!!!  
  
(but since he's a rooster, it doesn't really do much)  
  
Saito:..................... hey Okita!! Do we really have to get that sushi you like in this town? It's full of idiots I don't feel like eating.  
  
Okita: Well, we could always go to Kyoto, sir.  
  
Saito: Egads, no!! I hear there's a mummy there!!  
  
Okita: Really, sir?  
  
Saito: Yeah, goes by the name of Shishio.  
  
Okita: Didn't they make a movie called that? You know, the Mummy vs the Werewolf?  
  
Saito: What the hell is a movie, Okita?  
  
Okita: Ahh, nothing! Nothing at all!! (sweats)  
  
Saito: ........................... ah, whatever. I hear the mummy's got some fine piece a booty traveling with him.  
  
Okita: Eeww, girls. Like, ick-some, sir!!  
  
Saito: ......................... why did I agree to travel with you, again?  
  
Oktia: I money and lots of it.  
  
Saito: Oh, that's right.  
  
(And thus the two leave the rooster behind on their way to defeat Shishio, since Sano probably got hit by a carriage anyways)  
  
**not as good as my last one, but I decided to make it three chapters anyways. (yes, the third one's not here yet. 


	3. the Mummy

** FOR THE LAST TIME, PECHAN OWNS NOTHING!!  
  
**Last time we caught the dynamic duo, they were on a quest to defeat Shishio. And stuff. So, let's put an end to this nonsensical cr@p, and move on with our lives, shall we?**  
  
~~ the Mummy~~  
  
~ in the maze where they fight before the final fight with Shishio.~  
  
Saito: Soooooooooo....................  
  
Okita: Yep..................  
  
(both of them are looking at the entire Juppongatana fleet)  
  
Chou: Whut are YOU LOOKIN' AT, YOU SASSA FRASSIN' COWBOY DINGAROOS?!! (Pechan would like to apologize, but Chou sounded very much like a cowboy in the dubbed version of Rurouni Kenshin, and she sucks at making cowboy slang)  
  
Henya: (flapping his wings) Nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh- Batman!! BATMAN!! Batman, BATMAAAANNN!!!  
  
Usui: (wearing sunglasses cause he's blind) Hello? Is someone there?  
  
Kamatari: I am SO friggin' pretty!  
  
Anji: (chanting)  
  
Fuji: Me big, like mountain.  
  
Little old Guy (sorry, I forgot his name): Yes Fuji, that's why we named you after the mountain.......  
  
Saito: ............... uhhhh......... any of you guys seen a mummy anywhere?  
  
Kamatari: Nope!! Say, you look pretty hot!! Wanna dip the teabag? (winks)  
  
Saito: What the hell does that mean?  
  
Okita: (comes over to Saito, whispers in his ear)  
  
Saito: (eyes widen) GAH!!! EWWW, GOD NO!! (shakes head) Enough of this!! I came to fight the MUMMY!!  
  
Chou: Well, he ain't here, partner. I reckon ya'll need a lickin'!!  
  
Saito: .................... did he just say he wants to lick me?  
  
Okita: I believe so, sir.  
  
Saito: Eww. Like, dirty.  
  
Usui: Hey, anybody wanna tell me who came in just now? (walks into a pole) OW!!  
  
Anji: (praying still)  
  
Henya: (spreads wings) Did you know my droppings make fine guano pottery in Africa?!  
  
Saito: .....................  
  
Okita: ........................  
  
Saito: ........................ (slowly backs a way, motioning Okita to do the same)  
  
~ Once out of that freaky place ~  
  
Saito: Well, that was a good ten minutes of my life I'll never get back. Any idea where that mummy went?  
  
Okita: I don't know sir, I'm still trying to get that mental image of Kamatari tea bagging you out of my head. (whacks his head a few times) BAD THOUGHTS!! BAD THOUGHTS, BEGONE!!  
  
Saito: I'd Gatotsu you if I wasn't so hell bent on finding that mummy right now.  
  
(suddenly, they hear maniacal laughter, and look up)  
  
Shishio: (high atop the petroleum burning factory) MWA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, HAJIME SAITO!! FOR I AM THE MUMMY!!  
  
Saito: I think the bandages gave that away, Shishio. Now get down here so I can whip a can of Aku Soku Whoop @$$ on ya.  
  
Shishio: Ahh, but you see!! I have this!! (pulls out garlic)  
  
Okita: He thinks you're a vampire sir, you're safe!!  
  
Saito: Uhhh, actually, I'm kinda........ ya know, allergic to garlic, see?  
  
Okita: (falls over) WHAT KIND OF WEREWOLF IS ALLERGIC TO GARLIC?!!  
  
Saito: Hey, it's not like I was planning on becoming a werewolf, you prick!! And besides, that stuff gives you bad breath. I'm surprised people still eat it!!  
  
Shishio: With this at hand, you cannot possibly defeat me!! BWA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!  
  
Okita: He sure is a happy fellow, isn't he sir?  
  
Saito: ............... dude!! Look look, if I mix up the letters in Okita........ they spell Tokia!!! Almost like my wife!!!! Freaky, ain't it?  
  
Okita: ........................ well, I'm glad I spent all my money on this trip, sir.  
  
Shishio: Hey, get off my property!! I gotta get in a real fight with the Battousai soon, so scram!  
  
Saito: With HER?!  
  
Okita: Him, sir.  
  
Saito: With HIM?! When's he coming?  
  
Shishio: Very soon!! Now shoo! I have to tidy the place before he comes. I don't want him coming over and then telling his friends what I slob I am at home!!  
  
Okita: But-  
  
Shishio: (points at the door) GET!!  
  
~Later, outside, at the red arches~  
  
Okita: What must we do now, sir?  
  
Saito: I don't know, I'm bored of this already. Wanna throw rocks at old people?  
  
Okita: Sure thing, sir!!  
  
(they get up, when they spot the Battousai and the Rooster Head in the distance)  
  
Kenshin: Oro? Hello, Saito!! A pleasant day, that it is, isn't it?  
  
Sano: Saito!! You better fight me, NOW!!  
  
Saito: You're still PMSing about that? Geez, get over it. That is like, SO yesterday.  
  
Sano: It WAS yesterday!!  
  
Saito: ......... why are you still talking to me?  
  
Okita: Ah, are you here to fight Mr. Shishio? He seems to be in a bad mood lately.  
  
Kenshin: Oh, thank you Soujiro, that i......do?  
  
Saito: What?!! You're really Soujiro?!!  
  
Okita/Soujiro: No. the author decided we look so much alike, that we were the same person in disguise. That's why I was so nice to you in episode #36: 'Across the Boundary Between Edo and Meiji', where Kenshin battled and defeated Senkakku at Shingetsu village-  
  
Saito: First off, what a nerd, all memorizing the chapter numbers and titles. And second of all, doesn't she know that if Okita WERE alive, he'd be a good twenty years old or so by now?!! (whaps Pechan on the back of her head) RESEARCH BETTER!!  
  
Pechan: You have the most beautiful eyes, Saito-samaaaaaa.......!! (passes out from sheer hotness of it all)  
  
Kenshin: .........................................ummm.............oro?  
  
Okita: Anywho, maybe we should fight Shishio.  
  
Sano: I wanna fight 'em!! My fists are better than any blades!!  
  
Saito: Yeah, sure. Whatever.  
  
(doors open, and Yumi Komogata steps out)  
  
Every Guy: DAY-AM!!!  
  
Sano: Homina homina homina homina.......  
  
Saito: (wolf whistle **get it?!!**)  
  
Kenshin: ORO!! She's nearly as pretty as me, that she is!!  
  
Okita: Golly, I do wish I was old enough to actually find women sexy and such.  
  
Yumi: AHEM!! Please follow me in the maze. And don't touch anything!! Shishio is such a b!tch when someone touches his things....  
  
(so they go through the maze in a Pac-Man like fashion. Can you imagine? All of 'em goin' '"wakka wakka wakka' like Pacman does, heh heh.............. anyways, they get to the top where Shishio is.)  
  
Yumi: Hokay! Once you get passed this door, you may never return!!  
  
Kenshin: I would like to state for the MILLIONTH TIME, that I do not wish to kill anyone, that I don't!!  
  
Everyone: OKAY, WE GET IT.  
  
Saito: Damn hippy.  
  
(doors swing open, revealing Shishio and his buddy Hoji)  
  
Hoji: That took forever!! What'd you do Yumi, let 'em fight all the others one at a time?!!  
  
Yumi: Wasn't that the idea?  
  
Hoji: WE NEEDED THE ARMY TO ATTACK ALL AT ONCE!!  
  
Yumi: Okay, like, WHATEVER. (goes off to put on make up, or something.)  
  
Shishio: MWA HA HA HAAAAAA!!! PREPARE, FOR THE MOON IS ABOUT TO RISE!!!  
  
Saito: Cr@p. That wouldn't happen to be a full moon, would it?  
  
Shishio: Is there any other?  
  
Kenshin: There's a blue moon, that there is-  
  
Sano: 'BLUE MOOOOOOOOOOON, SHE SAW ME STANDIN' ALOOOOOOOOOO-'  
  
Shishio: (gasp) I LOVE that song!! (sings along)  
  
Saito: .................. (looks at Okita) Hey, you bored yet?  
  
Okita: Not really, sir.  
  
Shishio: Ahh, now stand still as I Homuradama you, and barbeque you all for the fabulous feast I shall make!! Just as Usui has proven himself worthy of eating!! BWAAA HAHA HAAH HAAA!! (he DID say something cannibalistic like that in the episode......right?....)  
  
Sano: Eating people is like, SO gross. I wouldn't be surprised if that Kamatari f@g is crawling with at least fifty types of STDS. FIFTY, I SAY!!  
  
Shishio: Silence, you human punching bag!! Watch, I as I defeat the Battousai after one fell swoop!! That is of course, after I bite him!!  
  
Kenshin: Madness!! I will not stand for such a murderous madman to take over Japan-  
  
Shishjio: (Bits him)  
  
Kenshin: OWW!!! He bit me!! HE REALLY BIT ME, THAT HE DID!!!  
  
Sano: Looks like you made him mad, Shishio!! You better watch out!!  
  
Saito: What's the worse Battousai could do? Throw his purse at him?  
  
(and the fight continues, leaving Battousai dead)  
  
Shishio: HELL YEAH!! I so OWN THIS FIGHT!! BOW DOWN TO ME!!  
  
Saito: (suddenly, performs surprise attack on Shishio) MAKOTO SHISHIO, YOU'RE HEAD BELONGS TO ME!!!  
  
Shishio: (catches his blade) You can't really call that a surprise attack since I saw you, moron.  
  
Saito: I know. That's just how the episode went. (looks up at the moon) Ah, perfect timing!! (grows hairy and big)  
  
Everyone: Ewwwwwwww.....  
  
Saito: Oh shut up!! I'm just transforming into a werewolf!! It's not my fault if the author makes it sound disgusting!!  
  
Shishio: No matter!! We shall put that age old question to test, Hajime Saito!! How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?!!  
  
Saito: 36 kg, why do you ask?  
  
Shishio: ............ uhhh........yeah? Well......... (Homuradama's Saito)  
  
Saito: (yips) MY LEGS, MY LEGS!!  
  
Okita: Go, sir!! You can do it!! I believe in you!!  
  
Saito: Shut up, Okita!! I don't need your pity cheer!! (Shishio cuts his fist into Saito's shoulder) ........... okay, now I wouldn't mind some of that cheering.  
  
Okita: Well, you kinda already lost.  
  
Saito: Did not!! I'm still standing!!  
  
Okita: (flips through the script) Well, according to this, you die, then Sano dies, then Aoshi comes back and resurrects everybody. Oooh, zombies!! Can't wait to see the make up for that!!  
  
Sano: I die?!! MOI?!! How can that be?  
  
Saito: More importantly, why do I have to die?!  
  
Okita: It's all in the script, sir.  
  
Saito: While we're at following the script, why don't we point out your not supposed to be here!!  
  
Okita: .................. (sniff sniff) you're mean, sir.  
  
Shishio: Hey, shut up while I eat you!! (sprinkles salt on Saito's arm) Mmmmm, you smell nice!!  
  
Saito: Okay, screw the script. GATOTSU ZERO STYLE!! (Gatotsu Zero Style's Shishio)  
  
Shishio: AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiii................. (dies)  
  
Saito: Hell yeah, I RULE!! AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (that's him howling)  
  
Okita: (claps) Yippy skippy, sir!!  
  
Yumi: OH NO, LORD SHISHIO!! (glares at Saito) Hey, you retard!! You didn't even let me say good bye!! (sobs) You didn't even let me say goodbye....  
  
Saito: What is this, 'Beauty and the Beast'?! The guy was nuts!! He wanted EAT people!  
  
Yumi: So what?!! He already ate me!!  
  
Saito: Ate you? I don't get it, if he ate you, how can you still be standing there-  
  
Okita: (whispers in his ear again)  
  
Saito: (eyes widen) GAAH!! NASTY!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND SEX?!!  
  
Yumi: At least I get some!!  
  
Saito: I get plenty. And that's not counting that one time Okita almost raped me.  
  
Okita: (sniff sniff) I couldn't help it sir, I got so lonely........  
  
Sano: Ewww, RAUNCHY!! You're the worst super hero ever, Saito!!  
  
Saito: As far as I'm concerned, I'm the coolest guy here because I'm the only guy here that ever made it to third base. BOO YAH!! (he IS the only married guy, isn't he? The Rurouni Kenshin universe is full of swinging bachelors!!)  
  
Yumi: Hey, what about Shishio? Him and me were HOT for each other!!  
  
Okita: He's kinda dead Ms. Yumi. I don't think you and him are an item anymore.  
  
Kenshin: (lifts head up) Oro? May I come back to life now, that I ask?  
  
Saito: Nope. I'll tell ya when you can.  
  
Kenshin: Oh, thank you Saito, that I do!! (flops back down)  
  
Hoji: You know, you're not much different when you're a werewolf.  
  
Saito: You notice that now? (looks down at his fluffy black tail) Ah, so we meet again!! (chases his tail)  
  
Hoji: .................................  
  
Yumi: .................................  
  
Okita: I know, you'd think after a good five minutes of it he'd get bored of it. But he doesn't.  
  
Sano: Hey, since Shishio's dead, do we get medals or something?  
  
Okita: You get a nice pat on the back and a 'Good job!' from Lord Okubo!  
  
Sano: Okubo's dead!! You killed him!!  
  
Okita/Soujiro: Did I? Hmm. Guess you get nothing after all. Sucks for you!  
  
Sano: ............................ (is crying on the inside)  
  
Yumi: Well, I'm bored of this. Guess I'll go back to my home town and pole dance again. (walks off)  
  
Hoji: Hey, you know what I've always wanted to be? A banker!! (so Hoji goes off to open the Hoji Bank of Japan. He later bankrupts, but he doesn't know that yet ;D)  
  
Sano: I didn't even get to transform into my Rooster form......  
  
Okita: I don't think it wouldn't have made a difference.  
  
(the two look at Saito, who's still chasing his tail)  
  
Saito: (growling at the tail) I'm gonna get'cha!! I'mma GONNA GET'CHA!!  
  
Sano: ...................... so, Okita!! Got any money?  
  
Okita: I got money comin' out the wazoo.  
  
Sano: Seriously? Can I have some?  
  
Okita: No.  
  
Sano: Why not?!!  
  
Okita: Mr. Saito gave me very specific instructions not to help you.  
  
Sano: You have so much money to spare!! By the way, where does it come from?  
  
Okita: I'm a part-time gigolo.  
  
Sano: ................  
  
Saito: GATOTSU!! (stabs his tail) Hah, you like that?!! HAH?!!  
  
Okita: Sir, we must be going. The author is getting carpal tunnel's syndrome.  
  
Saito: Fine, let's go. (walks away, tail bleeding) I kicked that tail's @$$, you know.  
  
Okita: (sigh) You always do, sir.  
  
**And that's how it is. Pechan would like to apologize for filling this with as much randomness as possible, but thanks you for reading anyways. So, ummmm............. mibu, Mibu, MIBURO, HOOOOOOOOO!!!! (get it? Like 'Thundercats', that old cartoon? And stuff.....? {{Crickets chirp}} ................ I'm so lonely.)** 


End file.
